{"id":4793,"date":"2012-08-09T00:43:00","date_gmt":"2012-08-09T00:43:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lospoliticosveracruz.com.mx\/?p=4793"},"modified":"2014-10-10T03:03:09","modified_gmt":"2014-10-10T03:03:09","slug":"carrera-politica","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lospoliticosveracruz.com\/?p=4793","title":{"rendered":"Carrera Pol\u00edtica"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b>Salvador Mu\u00f1oz<\/b><br \/><i>Los Pol\u00edticos<\/i><\/p>\n<div>M\u00e1s de dos mil j\u00f3venes buscan una oportunidad para cursar bachillerato o universidad en la ciudad de M\u00e9xico, y con tal de conseguirlo, algunos mantienen un plant\u00f3n permanente en las instalaciones de la SEP&#8230;<br \/>\u00a1Pero qu\u00e9 necesidad!<br \/>Digo, ac\u00e1 en Veracruz, primero, todos los aspirantes a una prepa, tienen cabida&#8230; eso s\u00ed, si no quedan en el plantel de sus sue\u00f1os, la secretar\u00eda de Educaci\u00f3n los acomoda en donde sea, pero los acomoda&#8230;<br \/>En el caso de los aspirantes universitarios, si no quedan en la UV y no hay la suficiente econom\u00eda que se vive y transpira en nuestro gobierno estatal para entrar a una de paga, aunque sea \u201cpatito\u201d, tenemos \u00a1la Universidad del Pueblo! La UPAV, que aunque haya quienes pidan certificaci\u00f3n de sus planes de estudio y de maestros, as\u00ed como prueba Enlace a sus egresados, eso poco importa a quienes ven en dicha Universidad, la esperanza de ese esp\u00edritu alemanista que reina en la mayor\u00eda de todos los hogares: tener en la familia a un \u201cLicenciado\u201d.<a name='more'><\/a><br \/>Insisto, hablamos de m\u00e1s de dos mil j\u00f3venes del altiplano que si la SEV y Turismo, as\u00ed como Gobierno del Estado se ponen buzos, podr\u00edan significar excelentes dividendos para nuestro Estado invit\u00e1ndolos a estudiar en Veracruz, adem\u00e1s de que ac\u00e1, si no les gusta su carrera durante sus estudios, pueden inclinarse por una actividad de sumo lucrativa para quien la ejerce: La Pol\u00edtica&#8230; y ojo, porque si bien no requiere de mucho esfuerzo, s\u00ed de dedicaci\u00f3n y entrega&#8230; y aunque a\u00fan no tiene certificaci\u00f3n o Revoe, pues ni falta le hace, ac\u00e1 pongo el Plan de Estudios, por si le interesa que su escuincle se supere y quien quite \u00a1le salga pol\u00edtico!<br \/><b>1.- Teor\u00eda y Pr\u00e1ctica del Cargamento de Portafolio.<\/b><br \/>a) Indispensable su traslado con traje de por medio<br \/>b) Que parezca que te pagan lo que luces<br \/>c) Agarrar aires de mam\u00f3n&#8230;<br \/><b>2.- Taller de Apertura de Puertas<\/b><br \/>a) Del carro<br \/>b) Del restaurante<br \/>c) De la oficina<br \/><b>3.- Sistemas computacionales y m\u00f3viles&#8230;<\/b><br \/>a) Manejo del celular del jefe para negarlo cuantas veces sea necesario&#8230;<br \/>b) Manejo del IPAD para ense\u00f1arle al jefe las notas m\u00e1s importantes del d\u00eda porque es probable que no sepa usarlo pero s\u00ed presumirlo.<br \/>c) Habilidad para responder el tel\u00e9fono de la oficina, el i-phone, el radio y escribir en la computadora al mismo tiempo.<br \/><b>4.- Curso Intensivo de Servilismo&#8230;<\/b><br \/>a) Clase pr\u00e1ctica I del \u201cS\u00ed, Se\u00f1or; s\u00ed, se\u00f1or\u201d&#8230;<br \/>b) Clase pr\u00e1ctica II del \u201cComo usted diga, se\u00f1or\u201d&#8230;<br \/>c) Clase pr\u00e1ctica III del \u201cA sus \u00f3rdenes, se\u00f1or\u201d<br \/>d) Sin\u00f3nimos: Patr\u00f3n, Jefe, El Ching\u00f3n, El Mero mero, Licenciado&#8230;<br \/>e) En caso de estar lejos del Jefe: \u201cEl pendejo que me paga\u201d&#8230;<br \/><b>5.- Primeros Auxilios<\/b><br \/>a) C\u00f3mo sacar al Jefe de una rueda de prensa<br \/>b) C\u00f3mo negarlo hasta a su misma esposa y anexas&#8230;<br \/>c) Cometer adulterio involuntario para cubrirle las espaldas, util\u00edcese la frase: \u201cSe lo juro, se\u00f1ora&#8230; \u00a1es mi novia!\u201d<br \/>d) Renunciar ante cualquier error del jefe para asumirlo como propio para que los aciertos sean para el patr\u00f3n.<br \/><b>6.- Contabilidad y Actuaci\u00f3n<\/b><br \/>a) Taller intensivo para ser un excelente prestanombre<br \/>7.- Demagogia cl\u00e1sica<br \/>a) Prometer lo imposible, teor\u00eda fidelista.<br \/>b) Prometer lo menos posible, teor\u00eda de la Conade.<br \/>c) Prometer lo risible, teor\u00eda Upavista&#8230;<br \/><b>8.- Teor\u00eda y Praxis del Cargamento de la Maleta (Ojo, no confundir con Portafolio)&#8230;<\/b><br \/>a) Curso intensivo para evitar que te detengan en el aeropuerto con la maleta llena&#8230;<br \/>b) Curso intensivo para sacar 50 pesos para pasquineros y cinco mil m\u00ednimo para columnistas&#8230; reporteros: caf\u00e9 y galletas y si insisten, de 200 o quinient\u00f3n.<br \/>c) Curso intensivo para \u201corde\u00f1ar\u201d la maleta sin que el jefe se d\u00e9 cuenta&#8230;<br \/><b>9.- Expresi\u00f3n verbal y corporal&#8230;<\/b><br \/>a) Explaye sus deseos y aspiraciones pol\u00edticas sin remordimientos&#8230;<br \/>b) Iniciaci\u00f3n a cargos en el partido en el departamento de asuntos sin importancia&#8230;<br \/>c) Iniciaci\u00f3n a cargos de representaci\u00f3n popular sin ser popular&#8230;<br \/><b>10) Es usted un pol\u00edtico y puede aspirar a ser&#8230;<\/b><br \/>a) Diputado&#8230;<br \/>b) Alcalde&#8230;<br \/>c) Gobernador&#8230;<br \/>\u00a1Felicidades!<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Salvador Mu\u00f1ozLos Pol\u00edticos M\u00e1s de dos mil j\u00f3venes buscan una oportunidad para cursar bachillerato o universidad en la ciudad de M\u00e9xico, y con tal de conseguirlo, algunos mantienen un plant\u00f3n permanente en las instalaciones de la SEP&#8230;\u00a1Pero qu\u00e9 necesidad!Digo, ac\u00e1 en Veracruz, primero, todos los aspirantes a una prepa, tienen cabida&#8230; eso s\u00ed, si no [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4793","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-sin-categoria"},"yoast_head":"<!-- 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